I must admit at midnight I was pretty loopy- unsure if it was from the late cups of coffee, people harassing us, the cold rain, or perhaps it was that kava? But nevertheless I cannot seem to relax- although I know the shoot was successful I still can’t help but feel incredibly anxious- almost guilty. Concluding its probably the guilt of putting my actors in such positions of harassment (I didn’t expect this much however..). People kept touching our costumes as if invited, jumping into our camera shots, making loud noises and making an effort to ridicule our own efforts. Regardless I had a wonderful night :) My back aches and my mind spins- but there is nothing quite like the feeling of growth. So many challenges put forth to make myself realize how much I need to step up. Mostly in communication I believe. Communicating amidst a crowd of people not quite welcoming to our expressions- reviewing the footage now I’m almost in tears realizing what actually came through the chaos. Almost pure stillness- a certain feeling of peace. Exactly what I had aimed for- yet didn’t expect to come through.
Taking it day by day- Movie night this monday- hope to see you there